i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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