left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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