Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
