so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
