If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
