It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
