I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
