Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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