covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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