She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
