Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
