I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
