Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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