Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
