1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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