the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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