Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Semen is not good for contacts.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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