Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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