We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're a waste of cheezeits
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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