he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
