Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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