I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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