i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
