redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
