my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
