So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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