you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
