so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
