dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize