i may or may not be watching the land before time
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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