Non-Jews are for practice
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
