Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
