the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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