Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
