I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
