Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
