And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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