There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
