you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
