That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
