Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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