Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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