Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
