It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
