he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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