she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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