i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
