I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
