My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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