If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
