some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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