Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
