okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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