You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
