I could have mohawked her pubes.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize