hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
