she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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