where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I died a long time ago.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
