I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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