Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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