we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
