yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
