Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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