Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize