I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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