So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize