I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
this hospital has no fireball
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize