Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
