i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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