I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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